Ryan North

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COMING FOR YOU

A Strawberry-blonde Milkshake, Ryan North likes things that are awesome.

He grew up in Ottawa, Ontario where he attended Bell High School, followed by a Computer Science degree at Carleton University, and a masters degree in Computer Science at the University of Toronto, specializing in Computational Linguistics. Considered by some to be a brilliant comedian, Ryan is also a capable programmer and designer of t-shirts. His parents are Anna and Randall North. He has a younger brother, Victor North! Ryan likes to snuggle with his roommate Patrick Wisking.

Mr. North is also known for being egotistical enough to link to his own Wikipedia page, a practice whose acceptability is still being determined by the netiquette canon.

Contents

[edit] Other Ryan Norths

There are over 7 other people claiming the name of Ryan North. This fact was discussed in a series of emails where Ryan tried to clear up this confusing matter. None of these other "Ryans" were content to comply with Ryan's request, so it is reasonable to assume that these other Ryan Norths are still at large, confusing the public and not putting their names in quotation marks. This correspondence is notable for causing Ryan to use the phrase "Perhaps I am receiving segments of another unrelated conversation between two heroin monkeys."

[edit] Things that Would Not Exist Without Ryan North

[edit] Important Facts About Ryan North

Hit him in the face! He hates that! (Any resemblance to The Dude is purely aspirational)
  • Ryan is a very large person. He stands well over 6 feet (2 meters) and is found intimidatingly large by many. This is as high as the top shelf at the grocery store! Some people are taller than Ryan though.
  • Ryan used to know a girl named Anneke
  • Ryan, like most people, is unable to eat 12 saltines in one minute.
  • Ryan's command of the French language does not extend much past "j'aime des choses et des autres choses." One time he was all trying to correct my French on something but I was all "Whatever, Ryan. What. Ever."
  • Ryan has red hair, arguably strawberry-blond.
  • Ryan enjoys long walks on the beach with a towel draped over his face.
  • Before Dinosaur Comics, Ryan created Robot Erotica
  • Ryan once got himself in trouble with authorities by sending crazy emails
  • Ryan has never killed multiple hookers in the same night.
  • Ryan's status on MSN Messenger is always set to "Busy," although until recently it was purportedly set to "Be Right Back."
  • Ryan is my baby daddy
  • Ryan is known as the place food goes to die
  • Ryan currently has a Randy Savage-style mustache
  • Ryan North *FORGOT* to unban Drew
  • Ryan is the nicest freakin' guy in the world.[1]
  • Ryan will one-up you at tree-climbing if he sees you attempting it.[citation needed] (I DOUBT IT SUCKER Dri-ft 11:53, 26 April 2007 (EDT))(No Dry-fit this happened. To me. Katie.)
  • Ryan likes clean laundry! APPARENTLY
  • I bet if you punched Ryan in the face he would be so nice about it that he wouldn't even cry so that you wouldn't feel bad later.
  • Ryan totally laughs in the face of pain.
  • Ryan ate dim sum on Sunday September 16, 2007.
  • Ryan is interested in new ideas.
  • Ryan's interests include going to bed early and not having fun.
  • Ryan is pooping right now. 3:31 PM, October 9, 2007, Toronto, Ontario.

[edit] Chickens

On November 8, 2006, Ryan North launched the site Everything in the Universe Except Chickens, which jokingly attempted to decrease vandalism on Wikipedia by encouraging vandals only to vandalize the article on chickens: "...instead of vandalizing Wikipedia in general, we all just vandalize the chicken article." North satirically reasoned that it was worth trading the reliability of the chicken article if it meant freeing the rest of the encyclopedia from the threat of vandalism because "Dudes already know about chickens". His joke site has been covered by the mass media:

"Which brings us back to chickens: a twentysomething Torontonian named Ryan North has been attracting attention for his solution to the vandalism problem. North is a cartoonist, whose strip, Dinosaur Comics, has garnered an online following, which might help explain why his idea got the exposure it did. In a recent cartoon strip, North pointed out that picking through the encyclopedia's million-plus articles looking for digital graffiti is terribly difficult. He had a better idea: put out an open call to all would-be vandals, asking that, instead of scattering their handiwork throughout Wikipedia, they should all vandalize the same article, so it would be easy to spot. To get things started, he nominated the article about chickens. "Dudes already know about chickens," he rationalized, and this being the case, Wikipedia would work just fine as an encyclopedia about "every topic in the universe except chickens."" from "An earnest target of digital vandals", by Ivor Tossell; Globe and Mail, 7:07 AM EST, 17/11/06

[edit] Procrastination

Ryan is known for his tendency to announce that a project will be completed "soon" or "right away", only to then proceed to delay it for an extraordinarily long time. Projects currently languishing in this apprent stasis include the posting of new comics to Whispered Apologies, the adding of "bumping" behavior to The Amazing Regret Index's forum script, the fixing of the Story Engine, and the publishing of the MACHINE OF DEATH (predicting) print anthology. Despite this tendency, Ryan has still accomplished far more than anybody else ever.

[edit] Titles

On December 9, 2006, Ryan gave everyone the title A Romantic Comedy, in an attempt to shut up all the peoples who were whining. But the attempt backfired, and some have branded him the funniest person ever! Seriously that was awesome.

And now everything's back to normal.

[edit] See Also


[edit] External links

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